LOVE AND PDA: My Motive (You boys should fix up your lives)

First of all, I know you like gist. I know you probably want to know my motive for doing PDA. I’ll tell you. But then, you won’t be reading my motive for Public Display of Affection but my motive for Personal Development Activities vis-a-vis love and “forever together” 😀😀.

The quest for personal development is a selfless journey even though the focus is on ‘self’. Self development takes into cognisance the fact that life cannot be lived in isolation. Whoever and whatever you are and do, there is a big chance you would affect others.

If you are a bad man, others will bear the brunt as much you do. If you are a good man, people will reap the benefits as much as you do.

If you are a bad man, others will bear the brunt as much you do. If you are a good man, people will reap the benefits as much as you do. Even the Bible says, “When the righteous are in authority, the people rejoice; but when a wicked man rules, the people groan.” [Prov. 29:2 NKJV]

One of the things that are non-negotiable for me is a happy and lovely marriage even in the midst of imperfections. When I started taking personal development seriously, especially as touching being a better man, I had in mind not just myself but the one I’ll call “my lady” for life.

I considered asking a woman out, she agrees. Some years or even months down the line, she regrets ever agreeing to spend the rest of her life with me. I imagined what a life of misery that would be for me and most importantly, for her.

I never want to be the reason another man’s daughter will lead a miserable life. I never want to be the source of headache for the one who had her life going well until I decided to ‘interfere’. It really breaks my heart when a woman loses her peace because of a man she allowed into her emotional space.

No one is perfect. But likewise, no one deserves a dickhead man or woman.

Truly, no one is perfect. But likewise, no one deserves a dickhead man or woman. Fix yourself. Don’t be a burden to be borne by the one who allowed you into their lives.

Like M.I. told his fellow rappers, you boys and girls should fix up your lives. Life is too short to be unhappy. Life is too long to live it bearing an avoidable human burden!

Zedekiah and Jeremiah; The Leadership Lessons (I)

My curiosity on why some nations are light years ahead of others or why some organisations succeed and others don’t, has deepened my enthusiasm and interest in leadership. The reason is in the words of John Maxwell, “everything rises and falls on leadership”.

The difference between a successful country, business or organisation and a failed or failing one is most times not the availability of good resources but the availability of good leadership. Take a look at Nigeria.

The interaction between King Zedekiah of Judah and Prophet Jeremiah in Jeremiah 38 is quite profound for my leadership and life journey that I couldn’t help but make a note when I came across the passage.

The background picture of this chapter is that Jeremiah preached the sort of message Jesus Christ preached in his days (Matthew 16:25, Luke 17:33, Mark 8:35) that “whoever will save his life shall lose it and whoever will lose his life for My sake shall find it”.

Jeremiah preached at a time Judah was under siege of the Chaldeans. He said if the people would go out to surrender to the Chaldeans, they would live. But if they would remain in the city, they would “die by the sword, by the famine and by the pestilence“.

This message was viewed by some highly placed people in government as counterproductive and demoralising to the people at the forefront of the war. They set out to exert their influence. These men of influence approached the King and demanded that the prophet is put to death for “ruining the resolve of the soldiers“. In the Nigerian context, we’d refer to them as “cabals“.

The following ensued after the demand. They are instructive as leadership lessons.

• The leader’s powerlessness

Verse 5

“King Zedekiah caved in: “If you say so. Go ahead, handle it your way. You’re too much for me.” (TMB)

This was the response of the King to their demand. However, Jeremiah was not killed. He was rather thrown into a muddy cistern. The king’s response showed the powerlessness of the King. The King had little or no control over his territory. This is bad for leadership. It reminds me of Yar’adua’s tenure as President of Nigeria, most especially when he was sick and rumours were rife that the First Lady was the one running the show in the company of a few other people.

King Zedekiah was reigning but the men of influence were ruling. In as much as leaders can and should listen to their people, they should be wary of the leadership being hijacked. Such leaders will be mere puppets.

In fact, Jeremiah 37:1 says:“King Zedekiah son of Josiah, a puppet king set on the throne by Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon in the land of Judah, was now king in place of Jehoiachin son of Jehoiakim.”

This description settles everything. As a leader, listen to your people but never lose your control.

• The leader’s indecisiveness

Verses 7-10

In these verses, an Ethiopian and a eunuch, Ebed-melech, approached the King and convinced him that if Jeremiah is not released, he would die of hunger. The King told him to get a few men with him and get the prophet out of the dungeon.

In as much as this is a good move by the King to defy the men of influence and retrace his steps, I noticed another leadership defect in the King. King Zedekiah was prone to being moved by every convincing and argument. This is a personal challenge for many leaders.

A leader who is easily swayed by every opinion and argument will always find himself in bed with indecision!

A leader who is easily swayed by every opinion and argument will always find himself in bed with indecision. Decisiveness is a needed trait for every leader. One of the core responsibilities of leaders is decision making. A leader who fails at it or always finds it a herculean task betrays his calling.

There are three (3) more lessons in this series. Kindly click the “follow” button to be notified as soon as they are published.

Sunday Fadipe

Why Do I Feel My Life Has No Direction? And Yours Too!

I find myself in some circumstances wherein I feel numb about my life. I feel my life is without definition and direction. At times, to get over this, I look at my journey and small wins and pat myself on the back; things are not that bad. But then, like insanity, it crawls back after the lucid period.

However, I found a potent and permanent answer to this in the pages of the Bible. This really has nothing to do with religion. As long as we remain humans with red blood in our veins, we are bound to feel directionless at some point in life.

So, what does the Bible say?

“In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void: and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters”. Genesis 1: 1-2

Are you confused? Is your life without definition? Are you at a crossroad in your journey where everything does not make sense?

Take courage. Stop worrying. You are not alone. You are only at the beginning of your life. That is the natural order of things. Things hardly make sense at the beginning. At the creation and beginning of the earth, it was without form. It was void. The earth was both confusing and confused.

There is no better description of a life without meaning than saying “darkness is upon me“. That is exactly what the Bible says in describing the beginning of the earth: “Darkness was upon the face of the deep”. It is only normal if you feel your life has no direction or you are in the dark.

At times, we look at friends and colleagues and think they have it figured out. Be not deceived. If some friends open up, it is guaranteed they will say they are confused about life too. Be encouraged. You are only at the beginning of your life. In your career, your education, your finances; you are just starting.

But then, you can’t just fold your arms or go back to bed and only hope things will get better as you age. What do you do?

Pray and work for light!

“And God said, let there be light: and there was light”. V. 3

Pray to God for illumination of your life and path. Imagine the bliss you feel when you are trying to figure out your way in the dark and suddenly, power is restored. Imagine if your life receives an illumination and you no longer have to grope in the dark.

After praying, work for the light. Be diligent in your vocation. Pursue competence. Keep your head down. Learn like your life depends on it. Your ability also matters in navigating the darkness of life. You’ll probably find your way easier in the dark in your house than in your friend’s. That’s the power of consistency and familiarity.

Pray for light. After praying, step out and work for the light.

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Are you a young person? Do you have life, career and relationship difficulties? Do you need help in charting a worthwhile and meaningful path in these areas?

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