After I woke up from sleep following the crossover service, one catchphrase that kept disturbing my thought process was this:

To thyself be true.”

I’ve not heard it in recent times and neither have I seen it. So, I knew straight away that this is my guiding principle for the year.  

It was a line in Act I Scene III of Shakespeare’s Hamlet rendered by Polonius fully as follows:

This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man”.

Really, as humans and as we undertake the journey of a new year, we need to learn to be true to ourselves in all ways, at all times. Being true to yourself will make you expend less energy on things not beneficial for your growth and advancement.

• No matter your level of expertise in your chosen field or career path, there’s always one person better than you. You can genuinely aspire to be better than such a person. You can put in all the hard work for your own personal and professional development. But to thyself be true, envying and hating on such a person won’t bring him down and put you up.

• At this present stage of your life, look deep within you. You know what to do to move to the next stage of your life that you so much crave. To thyself be true; do it. Do it even with your fear of failure. It may not be easy. Actually, it won’t be. It will require consistency and patience. Beautiful things take time to build. 

To thyself be true; many people, due to their circumstances of birth or some other factors, will have better opportunities than you do. Rather than throw yourself a pity party, put in the required work and pray for grace. A pinch of grace can make an ordinary man look like a superman. 

• Give no room for negativity and do not hesitate to axe dead woods from your life. One attribute which doubles as both a strength and a weakness in my life is that I believe in people to a fault. I was denying the latter until about three friends pointed it out to me towards the end of 2017. 

I hardly cut people off from my life but I had to deliberately do it at the tail end of 2017 when it was clear that two friends were giving me some negative energy and needless drama. To thine own self be true; not everybody in your life is needed to make your life glow. Too many chefs will spoil a food. Too much make-up will make a woman look like Klitschko in the hands of Anthony Joshua.

To thine own self be true; there will be many women more beautiful than your wife. There will be many men richer than your husband. Contentment is all you need.

Finally, while being true to yourself, find some real people. Build your lives together. Be true to yourselves. Life is not fair. Life is filled with some bunch of bestial hypocrites. Social media is replete with incredible façade. 

But in the midst of it all, good people still exist. Find them. Don’t say “may we be one of them.” Be one of them.

One of the things I advocate for is quality relationships. Build true and enduring relationships. Lean on one another. Life is easier that way. As you are true to thine own self, be true to yourselves. 

As the world is wasting away in self deception and delusion, know ye that thou canst not be false to any man.



At this time of the year some years ago, some serious sobriety fell on me. I told my bosom friend that I was done. I was done with all our vulgar conversations and our relentless chasing of girls. The following year was going to be different. I had resolved in my mind. He was obviously displeased but there was nothing he could do. 

Then some days after, the firecrackers were ceasing. The euphoria of a new year was subsiding. Here I was with my friend, analysing the biggest ‘backsides‘ we saw in church on crossover night. My New Year resolution had gone with the euphoria like a puff of smoke with the wind. That was probably the last time I had a New Year resolution.

New Year resolutions are good. In fact, they energize your soul and mind. But they will only serve as avenues to warm your hearts for a short time if you let them remain as resolutions and not put them into proper shape for execution. Yet, many do not have or believe in New Year resolutions but they live a life doggedly committed to personal growth and development. Getting better as a person is therefore not dependent on the resolutions you put up every year or the numerical value.

Many people come up with resolutions at the end of every year because they are mostly moved by the things happening around them or by the seeming exploits being done by the people around them. Most of these resolutions lack personal convictions and genuineness. It is one of the reasons many end up with same resolutions yearly. Call it annual rituals. If you make another person’s reality your resolution, you won’t have the deep lying understanding to execute. Make resolutions based on genuine and pressing changes you desire in your life and develop a feasible execution plan.

However, many still follow this path and end up not achieving the desired results. Many resolutions are thought up amidst the fanfare and festivities that characterize the end of the year. They are developed in the heat of passion with so much emotional colouration and overtures. 

Emotions rob people of good judgment and the requisite tenacity for personal development. One day you are all pumped up and reeking of energy for the bumpy ride, the next you are like a punctured balloon hanging down the hand of a dejected lad on Christmas day.  I cannot forget the difference between how my sobriety made me feel and how I felt the day we turned backsides analysts.

Come to terms with your feelings. Don’t be fooled by the hyper moments where you feel like Dwayne Johnson. Set resolutions devoid of emotions. Develop piecemeal execution plans. Get yourself an accountability partner if you know you can be a Judas to your Jesus. Don’t be discouraged by the times you’ll fail. Keep being faithful to yourself. Stay true to the process.

The reason many of us don’t have New Year resolutions or believe in one is that we are committed to a lifetime work of becoming better persons on a daily basis. Whenever we fail, we get back up and have a go at it again the next day.

With deference to God for life and breath, the difference between a year and another year is just a second. 11:59pm – 2017; 12:00am – 2018. Why wait for the end of each year before deciding to take your personal growth seriously?
I wish you a great 2018.
You can connect with me on social media here:

Instagram/Twitter – @inspiredsunfad

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/Sunfad


For brothers in muse…

When I started writing poems some years back, I was literarily drunk in rhymes. For each line, words must entwine like the stems of a vine.

However, along the line, my interest in rhymes faded and I discovered that I could even write better and finer without rhymes. Lending credence to this, I have seen great poets and poems focusing less on rhymes and the results are masterpieces.

Unfortunately, I have seen and read many budding poets and poems chasing rhymes to a fault. Many lose their message in the needless pursuits of rhymes; forced rhymes at that. These days, unconsciously, I only skim through rhythmic poems trying to discover the patterns rather than uncover the message.
So, this is my one cent to upcoming poets, ditch the rhymes, if they are not flowing. Allow your mind and muse the latitude to wander and discover the beauty of words weaved together like braids on an African woman’s head. 

Festive euphoria; how plans fade with it!

Over the years, I have discovered that I have become more reserved in celebration, most especially in festive periods as this. Rather than jump up and down, I, with a straight face but deeply engaged mind, ponder on the mistakes and breakthroughs of the past, the challenges and prospects of the unfolding days, and of course, with a heart of gratitude.

It’s a season of euphoria that brings with it plethora of ‘news’ – “new me“, “new life“, and the common “new year resolutions” – many of which turn out to be fickle. As the euphoria dwindles, the fickleness becomes conspicuous.

However, in my reserved state, I’ve come to the realization that in making giant strides in a new year, it’s beyond some deceptive spur-of-the-moment decisions that will simmer down with the euphoria. You have to be intentional. You know when someone tells you that “you did it intentionally“, it means there’s a sense of deliberateness.

So, you have to be deliberate about every one of your plans. Every one! Be daring and raring to go at each one, not because the atmosphere is electrifying but because you’re charged from within to become a better person; not because it’s a new year but because the breaking of each day demands a better you.

BE DELIBERATE. Write down your ideas as they come. Write them! Ponder on them before you launch. Consult extensively. Strategize. Re-strategize. Execute.

 It’s not going to be easy. That’s why you also should not find it easy to fade with the festive euphoria.

Happy new year!
Fadipe S.O.J.

If Arsenal Were A Woman…


For more times than I can remember, I’ve wondered, albeit silently, how I became an Arsenal fan. The recurrent heartbreaks; the usual weekend headaches; the dashed hopes; the too many promising footballing seasons that ended up in our customary league position ( you all know it).


The Invincibles


Captain Vieira lifting the EPL Trophy won in 2003/2004 season

However, things have not always been like this. This club was once the toast of English football; this club at one point in time went a whole season without losing to any team. Yes! The team lost no match during a whole season and racked up 49 games unbeaten. A feat even the arguably greatest team to have ever played the game, Barcelona, have not been able to achieve. This club is the record holder of the English FA Cup, though this was recently achieved.


Several other feats have accrued to the badge of this club. But unfortunately, they all seem to be overwhelmed by the failure of the team in the past few years. As many predicted, this season is on the verge of going down the same lane. One of the most, if not the most promising seasons for the club in recent times is already faltering, failing and falling like a pack of dominoes. The team is about to break our hearts in a grand style again and this is the inspiration behind the title of this piece, “if Arsenal were a woman…”

Relationship experts have held that the cliché, “opposites attract” do not really apply to relationships. So sincerely, if Arsenal were to be a woman, with her flashy colours and adornments, I wouldn’t have been moved and attracted. I have a reservation for flashy women. I prefer the conservative third colour of the blue side of London. But we may be friends, just friends. Definitely not more than friends. No intimacy.

If Arsenal were a woman, with her conspicuous attitude of being too demanding; overly demanding more than every other woman in the neighborhood, trust me, we would not even be friends. No one likes a woman who knows no boundary in making demands, especially pecuniary. No one does. No one. (Arsenal match tickets are the costliest in England)

However, if despite her gaudy and needy nature, the untamed man in me still went ahead to win her heart,
she would have long returned to her father’s house, maybe with bruises and swollen face, for no heart deserves to be broken incessantly like Arsenal does ours.

If Arsenal were a woman, breaking hearts as if they are plastic, no man, not even the most patient and callous of men, would hear of her professionalism in heartbreaking and still be interested.


Listless performances when a win matters the most; the too many outings that suggest lack of belief from the team; the many humiliating results in the hands of both big and small teams. The list is endless. The heartbreak seems ceaseless.

But, like a woman enduring an abusive relationship without an explanation, we are here to stay. This love is unshakeable. We’ve been battered and bruised but we remain allegiant. It might be inconceivable to others why we are so obstinate, but WE ARE THE ARSENAL and this is our team!

However, my only prayer is that I may find a woman to love like Arsenal. That despite her too many shortcomings and inconsistencies,  I’d remain faithful and loyal to her till my last breath.

So, if Arsenal were a woman, with this kind of love oozing in my heart for her, her mistakes are forgiven, even before they are made, and my loyalty to her will be unflinching.

May I find her, like I found Arsenal!

View From Afar


Come, let’s reason together.

Have you ever pondered on this?
How come when you view an airplane that flies over your house, it looks smaller than it really is at the airport or hangar? An individual with a limited exposure who has not come close to an airplane would be forgiven if he innocently thinks this ‘small’ object that flies over his house should be for lifting of tiny creatures and definitely not humans.

Also, how come that gigantic building in your neighbourhood looks very small when viewed from afar? Let’s be more specific. How come Cocoa House in Ibadan looks like a small building when seen from University of Ibadan? In fact, you may not even see it all. Olumo Rock in Abeokuta, though not far from my house, still looks like a pile of the undersized rocks in “Odo Ogun” in Lafenwa until I come face to face with it through the gate.

In a nutshell, how come great things look minuscule from afar? I really don’t know but there’s a lesson to be learnt.

It is the same with humans. People look insignificant from a distance until you move closer and have a better look or strike a conversation. This is why it has never been and will never be advisable to rush to conclusion about people when viewing them from afar. That person you belittle from a distance might just be one of those people who believe not in a flamboyant and attention-attracting appearance but whose dogs take fresh three-square meals daily. You might not know that that small girl that already has her own baby was drawn into such because of family vicissitudes but you would have condemned her for being wayward, forgetting that no one chooses the family to be born into; you might not know that that “okada” rider is a university graduate but you would have spoken to him in an undignified manner with your phony British accent because he is just an “okada rider”, augmenting his pile of daily miseries.

The quote, “do not judge a book by its cover”, may have become a cliché but its truth and relevance will not wane.

In the same vein, on seeing a lady with poise laced with elegance and a beautiful upright carriage, you might have been rendered speechless until she speaks and you hear, “what I do?” Well, words will still elude you.




What started as a fierce and blood-promising battle ended as a show of courage and real sportsmanship; the Nigerian 2015 general elections. March 28 and April 11 served as another avenue for destiny to be re-written and the people have duly decided, using the power of the ballot.

In the build-up to the elections, several prophecies of doom were declared and there were expectations of violence on a large scale but the post-election ambience has been one of peace and tranquility. Kudos to the first Nigerian President to lose the bid for re-election. I do not regard him as a hero as many have done but I see him as a record-breaker in both negative and positive senses. But this is a debate for another day.

Many lessons have been learnt and several articles have proceeded from the outcome of the elections but after spending few minutes in Zik Hall loo some days ago, there was a rush of inspiration to write from another perspective, that of relationships.  I thought, “How did a man’s ladder of ascension turn out to be his source of downfall four years later?” How did the ‘relationship’ between President Goodluck Jonathan and Nigerians deteriorate in the span of four years and how was General Muhammadu Buhari able to woo over Nigerians after three unsuccessful attempts at the Presidency? The following are my five relationship take-aways from the just concluded historic elections.

1. Nothing lasts forever
If there is one belief I’ve always had, it is that nothing lasts forever, including relationships. Relationships break, courtships end, marriages at times end up in divorce etc and definitely, life goes on. It is this belief that my dear friend and mate, Queen of http://www.queenoset.wordpress.com does not feel comfortable with whenever I express. An argument once ensued on this topic some time ago during our days in University of Ibadan. But it is the truth, nothing lasts forever. However, this does not mean that all relationships are always headed towards break-up. Accepting only one side amounts to allowing the dangers of a single story.

The relationship between Nigerians and GEJ was bound to end one day. It was just the early break-up that GEJ never saw coming. And one day, GMB will also become Nigerians’ ex, whether by exhaustion or through the same fate that befell his soon-to-be predecessor.

2. Sustenance of romance
More often than not, relationships can become boring, the initial spark can fade away and monotony sets in.  Then partners start looking for the easy way out. A very good way of preventing this is that initial romance needs to be sustained. That a woman has finally ‘succumbed’ and has become your ‘bae’ should not amount to automatic decrease in the things you did to buy her over. If you get her, you should keep her, except, of course, she doesn’t want to be kept.

Many politicians fail to realize this principle that campaign is done in poetry and governance in prose, as was said in “Yes We Can! The Lost Art of Oratory.” As a result, they sharpen their tongues for campaign but their actions become blunt during governance. President GEJ rode on Nigerians’ sympathy and dogged support to Aso Rock but could not sustain it with his show of over-liberalism towards corruption and inability to protect the lives and properties of those on whose shoulders he rode to Abuja. Consequently, the relationship became strained and the people in turn fell in love with the General.


3. Love doesn’t cost a thing
It is the truth that love does not cost a thing. It cannot be bought. No amount of movie dates at Ventura Mall or shopping dates at Shoprite can buy love. You’d only end up being the sure-fire ATM. Even though I personally wonder if I buy a brand new car for a lady, she won’t fall in love with me. But definitely, I won’t do such for a random lady if the means abound.

In the just concluded elections and the recent ones, it has been proven that the people have become much more enlightened. Neither their conscience, love nor their votes could be bought with money. Some even collected money from opposing candidates but voted for those they already had in mind. Some of these politicians also realized this. For instance, in my hood, they told people that they would give them money only after they had cast their votes for the ruling party. But after the announcement of results, the victory shout signified that the people cared less about the penny they would have collected. Love does not cost a thing.

4. Blood seldom fails
Out of the different types of relationships, it is the blood relationship that fails the least. Family will always be family. Definitely, I agree that brothers can become sworn enemies and parents can disown children but the failure of marriages, sexual and platonic relationships have put to shame the rate of blood betrayal. Your boyfriend can become your ex, your wife can run away with another man, your friend can ditch you but your brother will always have your back, ceteris paribus.

It was not surprising that after the results of the elections were announced, President GEJ won in almost all, if not all states in the East and South-South and General Muhammadu Buhari won massively in the North. Their respective brothers had their backs, including cattle and minors. Blood seldom fails.

5. Never give up
Finally, another very important relationship lesson to take away from the general elections is to never give up on the one whom you love. For men, some ladies may not give you problem while some may play the hard-to-get game. For the latter, do not give up. You might end up being her knight in shining armour. Keep trying but do not get cornered into a ‘dangerous zone’ that can kill your dream. However, ladies should also note that an over-flogged hard-to-get will make you become hard-to-want.

Buhari never gave up on Nigerians. We played hard-to-get with him on three occasions but eventually found a soft spot for him and gave him our hearts on the fourth attempt. Dear brother, never give up on the sister.